Read on for more uproarious puns!
A self-remonstration is probably in order for leaving this thing dormant for so long, so here goes: I AM TERRIBLE. There.
I mentioned in my first post here that I find the act of blogging to be one of humanity's finest expressions of narcissism. I tend to rank it pretty low on my sensationally interesting day-to-day task list. It's somewhere between "writing my congressman" and "getting my butthole bleached." So when I find myself in the rare predicament of having free time, I tend to gravitate towards more wholesome pursuits, like talking over video games that I play for the Internet. In other words, I would rather be actually doing the hobby I enjoy rather than writing about it.
Let's also not forget that I do other things like working and sleeping. In fact, let's never forget sleep. Let's make that an ironclad rule. Sleep is a luscious, wonderful thing. I have been reintroduced to its virtues since I finally came off of graveyard shift in January. I will never take sleep for granted again. And when I talk about sleep, I mean that thing that people do in bed, at night, with their eyes closed, and they don't stop doing it until the sun rises. Your body might allow you to sleep during the day, but it's tricking you. It's the decaf version of sleep. It's like this video below, except substitute "sleep" in place of coffee:
I guess this is all an obnoxious way of saying "I've been busy," but it only accounts for about seven months of my absence. After I found myself considering another trip to the anal bleaching salon, I realized that I might be served to engage in some kind of intellectual pursuit. So I've been in school lately. Nothing serious, just taking a class here and there, but it's still an obligation. Last term, I took a community development class that I found useful, but I don't know if I really want to take my career in that direction.
This term, I'm actually in a computer science class. I am not a programmer in any sense. The extent of my formal education in computer science was this ridiculous class I took in my sophomore year of high school where we sat in the computer lab, piddled around in Excel, burnt holes in CDs with butane lighters (they smell terrible), and threw random electronic detritus at each other (I think a monitor may have been thrown at some point). Oh, and my teacher made what we'll call a sixteenth-hearted effort at teaching us Scheme. I retained none of it.
It really pisses me off that I've only just now taken a crack at programming because I'm actually finding that I enjoy it. Even more, I actually understand it so far. I convinced myself back in high school that I just didn't have the brain for it when I actually just didn't act like a weird recluse. I'm not saying that's what programmers are, but that I had this sense that you just had to be a certain type of person to actually program. I was completely wrong, obviously. Admittedly, I'm just starting out and making programs that make fun of the user's penis size and stuff, but it's proven to be stimulating. I'm even giving serious consideration to actually getting a second degree, which would mean some interesting things for the channel I suppose.
That pretty much brings me to today, which finds me writing this thing and thinking about my channel. I like how things are going with one small exception: I am completely irregular, in so many ways, but mainly in the sense that I really don't keep a schedule. This can have some undesirable results. I don't like those weeks-long spells of not putting up any content because I feel like I'm letting people down.
On the other hand, I don't want to be forcing myself to make with the laff-laff. I don't want to end up resenting what's supposed to be an entertaining diversion for me. Sometimes, I just don't have an urge to sit and do an LP; in other cases, I have to take care of other things.
I was hoping that this struggle with time would go away once I switched over to day shift, or that it would at least diminish. I've found that I actually feel somehow less in control of my time lately. School is a part of that I guess. Still, I feel like my days are way more rushed and that time slips more easily through my fingers. My LPs get pushed aside, though in favor of what, I'm not really sure.
This is all just a bunch of rambling, but sometimes I need to clean out the grease trap that is my mind before I start some kind of kitchen fire. Maybe I'll post something less... navel-gazey later? I hope so, I'm kind of liking this.
